Remember when you were younger, and sex was something you had to talk about in secrecy? Well, not anymore welcome to 2015! If you can’t speak about it, you shouldn’t be doing it. If you can’t discuss it, you shouldn’t be touching it.
So, the question and conversation at hand. How do I talk to my partner about sex?
I came up with a great acronym for you to remember when it is time.
KEEP COMMUNICATION OPEN!
Now, let’s talk about that knowledge I just dropped on you, shall we.
Get ready, grab a glass of wine or a cocktail and prepare to learn something new.
Tip 1Timing: What is timing? You mean like at night time? NO, I mean when you are prepared to go to the next level with your partner. There is no set day and or time. Whenever you are ready, you can start the conversation. Don’t be scared, like I said if you can’t talk about it. You shouldn’t be dropping your clothes to the ground. So what does good timing look like? Is there such thing as good timing vs. bad timing? YES! And if someone says anytime is right they are wrong, stay away from them they play foolish games. You want to wait until you are fully comfortable with the conversation yourself. If you aren’t comfortable, then your message and conversation will not be clear.
Tip 2Appeal: The appeal, sex appeal? Eh, something like that. More like what do you like, what is your flavor? What are some things that you want to try out? This would be the appropriate time to, be open. Let’s be real you do not have the same comfort level with everyone so there may be some things you want to try with one person because they just make you feel that comfortable. Things that they may be uncomfortable partaking in. If you saw something or heard about something that is what this time is. The conversation just got real. And guess what? You ok and you are doing perfectly fine holding your own in this conversation. Time to discuss those not so arousing things. If there is something that you want to be into the “Hell NO BAG”. By, all means this is where you bring that up. No need to have someone pull a surprise move on you if you have already discussed it. That knocks all of that out the park. When you make your wants and dis wants clear, things become a bit easier.
Tip 3Listen: Listen, can you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth? The problem with most people in the world is that they aren’t focused on what is happening People, listen to respond. They, do not listen to hear what you are telling them. Which, is unfortunate. So be mindful of that. When you are talking to someone and in this situation. It takes two to have a conversation, a sender, and a receiver. At some point in this discussion, you will be playing both roles. Let’s be smart about this, not both at the same time, ok? You want to be heard, so does your partner. Now, this is where it gets tricky. Nonverbal cues are just as important as verbal cues? When you are talking about a subject such of this nature something considered to be what some would call Taboo. Body, language is important, after all we are talking about sharing bodies. What is body language? It can be seen in many forms, it just depends on the person. For example, leaning into someone touching someone arm and or leg while talking. Can be a few slight clues that possibly there is sexual chemistry brewing. And or they can be enjoying the conversation that is being had. Now, if you are talking to someone and they have their arms crossed. Or if they aren’t facing you while the conversation is happening they may not be that into you and or the conversation. Or even worse we are in 2015. And you know what that means, a damn cell phone. IF they are sitting and texting during the conversation, let’s take that as a negative sign. So keep your eyes and hears open shall we.
Tip 4Keep communication open!: Keep communication open, ALWAYS! If you already gotten this far. You have shared so many things, with your partner, that you are moving forward with. And who knows how long it took you two to get to this part. Communication should never die, it should only increase. With communication, you can have everything that you want. And nothing that you do not want in your relationship. If something new comes up that you want to try, talk about it. Share what you have found out new, in the world. DO NOT BACKTRACK! If you shut down now, you suck! I could sweetly talk to you, but, then we would be going backward. Since we have built an excellent relationship. I Hope you took in somewhat I have shared with you today.
See also: How To Make Your Wife Want More Sex
Let’s do a quick recap shall we.
T- timing, a funeral is bad timing. Wait until you are ready to have the conversation. Do not let anyone pressure you into anything you are not ready for, in the bedroom or life in general. There is a chance that in doing so, that the message will not be sent or received well.
A-appeal, do not be afraid to share what you like and what you do not like. Let’s skip the surprises shall we. Unless being surprised, is on your list of things that you like. If you want to try something new express it. If you have things in your “HELL NO BAG”. Then say it, no one wants to feel uncomfortable in the bedroom. It is supposed to be a pleasure zone. Not awkward fest 2015.
L- listen, to your partner in what they are saying. Watch out for those nonverbal cues as well. They make the reveal more than what is being said out loud.
K- Keep communicating open, at all times. Even if you do try something new and you end up not liking it. Say that, express yourself. At all times, the communication should never be closed. You have worked so hard to get here don’t fudge it up by backtracking.
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