Fine Ways to Use Male Masturbating Toys: Dil-dos and Dil-don’ts

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So you’ve got quite the collection of sex toys do you? Is your sex toy box about to overflow? Have no fear, the expert is here! There are many great uses for male masturbating toys that extend way beyond the bedroom. If you don’t use specific toys anymore they can save you some money when it comes to everyday life. If you’re a wild child and have understanding friends that don’t mind seeing random sex toys around the house then these tips are for you, my awesome friend.

For the purposes of this article, I tried out many of the tips and tricks below in my house (my roommates thought it was hilarious and were onboard). All these tips on how to use your male masturbating sex toys work very well and I suggest you use them all. For the purposes of this article, I’ll break it down into sections, so when it comes to finding a solution for a specific issue you’ll have no problems. I have to preface this article by saying that these sex toys should be clean before you use them.

Here’s a quick video of Chandra on how to clean your sex toys.

Tip 1Need to Clog a Sink or Bathtub? We’ve all been there, you want to fill the sink to do some dishes or (if you’re really bored and easily entertained) make bubbles play with, but the sink stopper is missing/broken or disgusting. Why not use that old butt plug that’s sitting around? It makes sense right? A butt plug fits snuggly in your booty and works the same way in the sink. You simply squish the butt plug into the drain (not too far) and fill it with water. When you’re done with the water, you simply pull the butt plug out. If it’s a bit stuck in there, you just need to add a little soap to let it slip out.

See also: How to Masturbate in the Shower

Tip 2Want a Quirky Toilet Paper Holder? So you just moved into your bachelor pad and want to make it quirky and fun? One really easy way to do this is to use a dildo as a toilet paper holder. You’ll want to take a long-ish skinnier dildo that has a suction cup on the back and stick it to the wall in your bathroom. I have to say that this works really well and makes for a great conversation piece. I don’t know about you guys, but I like to name my sex toys and right now Jimmy is holding up the toilet paper in my bathroom. This also works well for paper towel rolls in the kitchen. If you have a pretty skinny dildo with a suction cup you can stick it to your counter and have the paper towel roll inside. I didn’t have a skinny dildo that could support the weight of a paper towel roll so I couldn’t test it but if you have one, it’s worth a try right?

Tip 3Need Napkin Holders? You’re hosting a fancy dinner and having some friends over. You want to leave a good impression and have extra cock rings hanging around in your toy chest? Why not use your cock rings in the middle of cloth napkins? I tried this with my basic black cock ring and it works well, but I think it would look pretty cool if you had a leather one with studs on it or something a bit fancier. I would highly suggest that you don’t do this when someone important is coming over (boss or parents), even if they don’t immediately notice what’s holding their napkin it could get embarrassing if they figure it out.

Watch: How Do You Organize a Sex Toy Party [VIDEO]

Tip 4Need a Doorstop? We’ve all been in a house where someone has a door that keeps bashing the wall behind it and there’re a hole or marks as a result. Not only is this aesthetically unpleasant but it’s also annoying. I have a solution for you that’s incredibly simple. You’ll want to take either a small dildo or a butt plug with a suction cup on the back and stick it to the wall behind the door. As I mentioned earlier, all my toys have names and Steve is behind my bedroom door right now protecting my wall. If you need to keep a door open and have a bigger dildo with a large base (that can stand up without falling) you can use that to keep the door from closing.

Tip 5Need to De-clog a Sink? Yikes! The sink is clogged and you’re too broke to call the plumber! Before you reach for the tissues and start crying, take it easy and listen up! If you have a penis pump sitting around that you don’t use anymore (or think it would be a better plumbing tool) then all you need to do is reach for that. You’ll want to create a seal around the drain with the penis pump and start pumping to try to suck up whatever is causing issues. You might have to be a bit aggressive with your pumping to actually suck anything up, but this actually works really well. My unused penis pump worked well on my friend’s clogged drain and everything is great now. If the pump doesn’t work then it might be time to go to the hardware store for a drain snake or to call the plumber.

See also: How to Have a Kickass Sex Toy Box

Tip 6Sore Wrists You’ve been on work for a few hours in your home office (or in my case the desk in my bedroom) and your wrists are starting to hurt from typing for too long. A great tip is to use a long jelly dildo as a wrist rest. You’ll want to use something soft and squishy and rest your wrists on it while typing to prevent ergonomic issues. This worked really well and my wrists were pain-free after working on a long paper the other day.

Tip 7Need to Cool a Drink? It’s hot and all you have in the house is warm cola? Yuck right? Don’t worry about it because I have an awesome solution for you. You’ll want to take a male masturbator (a stroker) and pop it in the freezer for 10-15 mins until it’s nice and cold. You then stretch the sleeve until you can fit it around the can. The sleeve will keep your drink cold for a while (or at least until you can finish it). I would suggest using a sleeve that has been stretched or is normally really wide for the purposes of this tip. I tried this with a bottle of beer and it worked wonders.

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Tip 8Want Fresh Orange Juice? Who doesn’t love fresh orange juice (excluding those with citrus allergies) right? Automatic juicers are crazy expensive and (in my opinion) a waste of counter space. I have a great tip if you want fresh citrus juice, simply use a butt plug. You’ll want to use a butt plug with a suction cup on the base and stick it inside a bowl. You can then twist an orange (slightly aggressively) to have the juice come out into the bowl. This is great if you have some time in the morning for a fresh breakfast.

Watch these 15 Must-Have Sex Toys for a Kickass Sex Toy Box [Video] by Destiny

Tip 9Don’t Want Your Wine to Spoil? Mmm, you just popped the cork on that bottle of wine you’ve been saving. You plop yourself down on the couch and start a Scandal (or whatever show you binge watch) marathon. But wait! You just remembered that you don’t have a cork to prevent the wine from spoiling in the future. It’s okay, pause your show and go to your sex toy box to grab your small butt plug. You can use the small butt plug to re-cork wine and keep it from going bad. Just squish the plug in there and relax. I had a wine and cheese party a while ago and tried this out on an unfinished bottle of wine (it works great). As with all these things, this isn’t the most elegant solution to your problem but it works well and saves you money on buying a new wine cork.

So what do you guys think? Are you ever going to try these? I know they might sound a bit awkward, but they work amazingly and can save you time, energy and money in the long run. So I say, give them a shot (if the situation arises) and recycle your perfectly good sex toys for a new purpose.

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Brad
Hi there this is Brad! Being a guest contributor in this site is a privilege coz' I super love sex toys. I'm happy to share my experiences with you and how to use some of my fave sex toys - the best way. Check out my awesome posts in this amazing "how to sex toys" website - Sex-Toys.how.